he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
that's an acceptable place to lick
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
