Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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