Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
