Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
