There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
bring money and cleavage
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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