he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
