You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
