At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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