Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
These tits shall not be calmed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
