Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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