Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
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You may now shotgun with the bride
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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