my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
the liver wants what the liver wants
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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