I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize