It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
