last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
