Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
