Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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