Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
