ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
