i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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