So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Are we still banned from the library?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
