just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
