What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
