Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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