sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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