The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
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We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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