no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
