Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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