So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
