Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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