my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
