My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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