whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
