so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
