So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
