I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hippo gnu deer
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Randomize
