we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
