Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
