I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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