Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
