Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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