We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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