Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
