My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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