Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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