Small penises have feelings too.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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