chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
