so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
