shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
