either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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