There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Oh god it's open bar.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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