Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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