Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize