I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
