I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
