Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
