eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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