My underwear smells like fireworks.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
