@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
