is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
