I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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